A lot of times when I start working with a couple, we find there are a lot of hidden fears nestled in deep down in their sub-conscience. Many are fearful of drudging things up or believe if they give it any attention, it will come to fruition. Some are too proud or too scared to look within. I get it all. It's all normal & part of the human condition.
One of the exercises that I have my clients commit to, is to take one hour to this fear release together. Be separate from each other at first, write down your fears. It could be about becoming a parent, adding another child to your family, will I be a good parent, will my partner and I be able to co-parent together well, fears of mimicking unhealthy parenting that you may have been raised with, financials, tear, body changes...you name it. Nothing is off the table. Write them all down. Then come back together, take some deep breaths & go over your lists (and be honest.)
You also put a number on it and sometimes it takes the scary away.
Then when we meet again, I walk you through a guided meditation that can help you to take your power back and release these fears. It's very healing to see fears for what they are, usually perceived danger or previous experience or trauma. This is a new experience & anything new is scary. This exercise can help lighten your heart and take some of that weight off of your shoulders.
When we have unresolved fears, it affects our thoughts, which changes our physiology which changes our behavior. When you let fears take over the birth space, catecholamines are released & tension is created. With tension, comes pain, with pain comes fear of the next. To reduce our fears & build healthy, happy endorphins that reduce stress, tension & pain, we must first face them head on, work through them instead of pushing them away or shoving them down. Building a daily practice of breath work, mindfulness & being educated on all of your rights & choices is a huge game changer for your birth & your early parenting experience. But how does one do this?
Scroll down below to see my suggestions.
Do this exercise with your partner. If you need guidance, and want to take my classes just reach out!
Set an alarm for a daily reminder to set your intention for the day as soon as you wake up. Setting intentions is so important for all aspects of life but especially in parenting. Waking up and saying, "Just for today, I will do my best to be gentle and kind to myself" or "I will be patient and flexible with my children today" or whatever else speaks to you.
Make a weekly affirmation (next post, I will share the 6 P's of making an Affirmation that works so make sure you subscribe to get the updates!)
Give yourself 5 mins ( at least ) to practice breathing techniques and learn to progressively relax your muscles.
Take a HypnoBirthing childbirth class (Local to CT? I have in person and virtual options)
Hire a provider that believes birth is a normal, natural event (which it is). Make sure they believe in your autonomy and right of refusal. They should practice trauma informed care using evidence-based practices, so you can make informed choices and know ALL of your options so you feel confident in your decisions. Remember, coercion is not consent.
Hire a doula or birth coach so that you have a person to bounce ideas or questions off of, learn more about the process of birth, learn how to navigate the medical business and feel informed and confident. Schedule a call with me if you'd like me to help you expand your knowledge! I work with people all over the country, that's the beauty of virtual care so just because you are not local, doesn't mean I can't help you. Just reach out!
I'm Ailish! I am a Hypnobirthing instructor, birth coach, and so much more. I believe birth is a normal natural event and I'm sick of coercion and trauma happening in our current medical system. I help you navigate the hospital business as well as help you understand physiological birth (birth as it is) so you know what is normal and healthy and feel prepared and confident. With me, you will learn about ALL of your options, how brain science helps us in birth, how deep relaxation is key, and how you have inner wisdom and intuition that I want you to tap into.
Click the link below to set up a free consult with me to see how I can guide you in your early parenthood. From birth coaching, virtual birth support, to postpartum support and gentle sleep coaching, I can guide you where ever you are in your early parenthood. I am in training to also become a gentle parenting coach so you can break the cycle of power-over or power-under parenting and parent more mindfully and effectively using love, understanding and increased communication. Can't wait to guide you even further in your journey!
Schedule your free call here! https://www.honeybook.com/widget/brave_little_dreamer_173075/cf_id/5fffc3316bcef3464c457ebf